Life's changed a lot in the past couple of months. First, there was the pain of unrequited love. Then there was the ecstacy of reciprocated love shrouded in the guilt of unfaithfulness and betrayal. And now that the initial euphoria has led to its nemesis, I am standing again at the crossroads of life staring ahead at the two roads that lie in front of me. On one hand is the person who loves me a lot; who has dedicated her whole life just to make my life a little bit more comfortable every day. The person who stood by me through thick and thin. The person who wouldn't let a single day pass without yelling at me and then making sure that everything I need is just quite right. On the other hand is the person I love to spend time with; who makes me feel young all over again; the person who has bewitched me with her grace and beauty; with her frivolity and her intense passion.
I don't know whether I am entitled to love someone whom I cannot have. Apparently that's what is considered anathema in society. Why is love so cruel? How can I forget those big dreamy eyes staring at me, the excitement when our hands touch, the mindless banter...
I can never stop loving you, but maybe I can stop myself from expressing that. I wish you well, me-amour!
Why do I have to make a choice? Whichever path I take, I stand to lose.
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ReplyDeleteLife is all about making choice I guess. I so know what you mean...but all we can probably do is stop expressing ourselves :-)
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